Cyrus Sullivan's All American Business Card
Cyrus Sullivan always felt a little weird when creating a website with a professional
sounding name just to act as a parent entity for his businesses, but when he realized
that he could declare himself president he couldn’t tell himself no any more than a voter could. Still he felt
creating a professional corporate website was not enough and realized the need
for a professional business card, a business card that would make a statement that
Cyrus Sullivan has a great business card.
In his quest for the greatest business card of all time, the greatest human being of
all time Cyrus Sullivan was quickly disappointed when initial attempts to create
a business card worthy of himself consisting of a watermark covering some tastefully
thick yet subtle off-white coloring was unsuccessful, so he built three other
designs to assure himself several professional looks. Those
designs featured raised lettering with a pale nimbus, egg shell with Romalian type,
and bone with Sillian braille lettering. Unfortunately for Cyrus his printer's did not support
raised lettering with a pale nimbus or egg shell with Romalian type, so Cyrus resorted
to bone with Sillian braille to make sure his business card would be impressive.
Today Cyrus Sullivan has a new business card unlike any other. A business card similar
to what the main character of one timeless Hollywood classic considred to be the
best business card of all time the second he placed it on a table and asked “new
card, what do you think?”
Unfortunately, Cyrus feels the need to censor himself online by removing his phone
number from his business card just to display it for unknown reasons. When asked
if he feared any sort of reprisal from Patrick Bateman, Sullivan replied “Bateman is
such a dork".